Five Inconsequential Questions From Spider-Man: Homecoming

I managed to watch Spider-Man: Homecoming over the weekend and, well, it was a fun movie. I can’t really say it was an amazing Spider-Man movie (see what I did there?) but I liked it just the same. There was a lot to like from Sony’s third crack at Marvel’s iconic superhero. It had a lot of good action and the acting was spectacular. Tom Holland and the rest of the supporting cast did a good job in bringing the characters to life. It also gets a few brownie points for actually integrating well within the Marvel Cinematic Universe without trying to hit us over the head with that information.

Now, I really wanted to review the film but most sites have already beaten me to it so there really isn’t a point to do so anymore. After all, I was just going to rehash what everyone was saying all along: Spider-Man: Homecoming is a good film. So, I decided to do something a little different. While watching the movie, I noticed a few things that didn’t really affect my enjoyment of the film but these things did strike me as rather odd. With that in mind, here are five inconsequential questions I got from Spider-Man: Homecoming!

By the way, I will need to reveal some really major plot points from the film so I’m going to bust out the mandatory SPOILER ALERT for everyone to see. You have been warned!

This is the most appropriate image I could find regarding comic book spoilers.


1. How the heck did Adrian Toomes/The Vulture get away with selling alien tech for eight whole years?

It weird but, of all the villains from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it was a two-bit baddie that The Vulture that broke the pattern of “boring villain” in their superhero films. I mean, really? The Vulture? Sure, I guess if you managed to snag an actor with the caliber of Michael Keaton to play Adrian Toomes, you exponentially increase the chances of making the Vulture the most interesting villain in the MCU. But still, The Vulture?

Anyway, the movie actually doesn’t start out with the origin of Spider-Man. Instead, we actually get the origin of Adrian Toomes and his plan to use all of the collected alien tech from the Battle of New York from the Avengers film and use it to create super powered weapons that he and his crew can use. Oh, and he also has a side business of selling this advanced weaponry to any two-bit hoodlum that can afford it.

Now, the Battle of New York happened eight years ago and, apparently, The Vulture’s crew have been selling weapons tech for that amount of time as well, right? So, how the heck did they managed to get away with that for eight whole years?

It would’ve been easy to understand if they were selling those highly destructive weapons to corrupt nations or crime lords like The Kingpin. But no. Apparently, their clientelle includes bank robbers who can’t even afford good Avenger masks and gangbangers (and possible cat burglars) like Aaron Davis. I don’t really think these criminals would have the restraint to use these incredibly destructive armaments without attracting some kind of attention. Yet, they managed to go under the radar for eight whole years until Spider-Man intervened. If this is true then New York’s finest are pretty inept. No wonder they need guys like Spider-Man to help them out!


2. Why does Peter Parker have a bunk bed?

Everyone knows that this incarnation of Spider-Man first appeared in Captain America: Civil War, where Tony Stark/Iron Man recruits the relatively unknown hero to help him fight against Captain America’s group in Paris. Now, since Captain America: Civil War was developed by Marvel and Disney and Spider-Man: Homecoming was produced by Sony, it was virtually impossible to get the same set they used for Aunt May and Peter Parker’s New York apartment. I actually have no problems with them using a totally different floorplan and whatnot.

However, I do have to questions the viability of Peter Parker having a bunk bed in his room. I mean, why? I can see that Peter Parker is using the top bunk to keep junk and stuff there. But why is there a mattress on the top bunk as well? It is for sleepovers or something?

The weird thing is, in Captain America: Civil War, you can see that Peter sleeps in a single bed. So, why the heck would he all of a sudden need a bunk bed in the few months after the events of Civil War? It would be more cost effective to just, I dunno, build a shelf, right? It’s not a big deal but it does seem like an odd set choice by Sony.


3. Who had the balls to buy Avengers Tower? And why sell it in the first place?

Okay, it’s originally called Stark Tower. But, after the Battle of New York, only the “A” in “Stark” remained, which is a happy coincidence for the Avengers as they did use it as their headquarters until Age of Ultron. In Spider-Man: Homecoming, “Happy” Hogan informs Peter Parker that Tony is selling Avengers Tower and they are moving all their equipment to the Avengers new headquarters upstate.

Wait, why does Tony Stark even need to sell the Avengers Tower? I get that the new Avengers facility is still within the area of New York City. But the tower is already smack dab right in the middle of New York, making it a superbly strategic location just in case someone else tries to attack New York. It could be an early warning station or something like that. So, why would Tony Stark sell it?

A better question would be who’s buying it. I mean, it’s gotta be someone incredibly rich because, well, it’s one of the most advanced buildings in New York. And it’s got its own Arc Reactor, making it a self sustaining building! I guess Tony Stark took out the Arc Reactor during the move but, even without it, Avengers Tower is still one of the most technologically advanced properties in the world. One theory is that a Spider-Man villain purchased it and, maybe in the future, we’ll be seeing a giant Oscorp logo on the side of the building instead of the iconic “A,” hmmm?


4. Did The Vulture’s tech guy get away?

By the end of Spider-Man: Homecoming, everyone in Vulture’s team is either dead or in prison. Adrian Toomes accidentally killed the first Shocker by vaporizing him with what he thought was an anti-gravity gun. The second Shocker got caught because Ned helped out Spider-Man in the school parking lot. The Vulture himself was apprehended by Spider-Man himself.

Except for Mason AKA The Thinkerer AKA the guy that makes all of The Vulture’s crew’s tech.

You never really see what happens to The Tinkerer. He was essentially the crew’s “chair guy,” giving instructions from far away. So, what happened to him? I guess he’s still on the lam because he wasn’t with Toomes during the first after credits scene. There’s no way Toomes would give up his location as he was portrayed as a man of “honor.” And I don’t think neither Spider-Man nor Iron Man even got a good look at him so his identity is still safe.

Still, we don’t really have any idea what happened to him at the end. There’s no concrete proof if he was eventually captured or if he’s out there somewhere, working on a suit for Mac Gargan or a weird fishbowl helmet suit for Quentin Beck. If you know Spider-Man comics, you know who these guys are.


5. Did Spider-Man actually cause most of the problems throughout the course of the film?

Think about it.

When he tried to stop the ATM robbery by the poorly masked “Avengers,” wasn’t he the reason one of the robbers went overboard and destroyed the sandwich shop that he frequents? When he tried to stop the sale of advanced alien weapons, wasn’t it him making a noise which nearly led to Aaron Davis’ getting shot by Shockers 1 and 2? And didn’t that also lead to thousands of dollars of property damage as well as him being called “Penis Parker” at Liz’s party? Isn’t it him keeping the Chitauri power source instead of handing it over to Tony Stark, who is way more familiar with alien weaponry, that nearly led to the deaths of his friends in the Washington Monument? Also, didn’t he also cause The Vulture’s big gun to rip the Staten Island Ferry in half?

I guess you can chalk all of these events to inexperience. However, is this really your hero? This is the guy that, if he actually didn’t do anything during those times, none of those awful things would’ve happened in the first place!


BONUS: Why is Aunt May hot?

Whenever I think of Aunt May, I think of a feeble old crone who dotes over Peter Parker. I definitely don’t think of a MILF like Marisa Tomei from Spider-Man: Homecoming!

At least the film acknowledges that Aunt May is hot. And, yes, Marisa Tomei is still hot.


Are there any weird questions that arose while you were watching Spider-Man: Homecoming? Let me know in the comments section below!

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