Hiya!
Wrestlemania 42 is officially happening this upcoming weekend and I can say, without a doubt, I am so happy the WWE split up their biggest show into 2 nights. Now, it’s not because Wrestlemania was getting too long. In fact, I was one of the rare fans who would be okay to endure through a 5-hour show. No, the reason is each night will be getting its own “main event” and, well, the “main event” for Saturday’s Wrestlemania, Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton, isn’t shaping up too well. I mean, all the WWE had to do was to have Randy Orton beat on Cody Rhodes to ignite a fire under them… but nooooooooo! They had to make things convoluted by adding Pat McAfee and Jelly Roll to the mix! Who the hell asked for this? No, tell me who so I can hate on the guy or gal who thought this was a good idea!
So, I’m not really looking forward to Saturday’s Wrestlemania “main event” match. While this looks like it’s going to be terrible because… really? Pat McAfee and Jelly Roll? However, as bad as this is going to be, I don’t think it’ll hold a candle to the other times the WWE botched the main event at Wrestlemania! With 41 Wrestlemanias already in the books, there were bound to be some stinkers. So, I dove into the WWE archives (ie. WWE’s YouTube page) and took a gander at some of the worst Wrestlemania main events. Here are my picks for the worst of the worst! Enjoy!
BONUS: Wrestlemania 1
I usually put the Bonus entry at the last of these lists but I’m going to make an exception this time around. Wrestlemania 1’s main event saw Hulk Hogan and Mr. T with “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka in their corner take on “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff who also had “Cowboy” Bob Orton in their corner.
This isn’t a good match. There is very little wrestling action for the most part. It’s just mostly bluster and chaos for the majority of the match. I could count the number of actual wrestling moves on one hand. There were even times when I don’t think anyone on the ring knew what they were supposed to be doing! There was one time when Snuka climbed the top rope only to jump down. Why do that in the first place? The heels also did some really blatant cheating such as Piper hitting Hogan with a chair in full view of Muhammad Ali, the outside referee! I guess using a weapon outside was a-ok back then?
However, while I’m of the opinion this is a bad Wrestlemania main event, I can see why fans loved it back then. It was a whole lot of pomp and circumstance. A lot of sizzle but not a lot of steak. This was also a star-studded affair, which must have helped the WWE go much more mainstream. I personally didn’t think it was good because it was just… things happening.
Something tells me, though, this isn’t the last time Hulk Hogan is going to be on this list, is it?
I should sue the WWE for false advertising. I thought Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson vs John Cena at Wrestlemania 28 was supposed to be a “once in a lifetime” match. If that’s the case, then what the heck is this?
You can go ahead and tell me “this is pro wrestling and you shouldn’t take it seriously.” I get it. Pro wrestling is supposed to be stupid. Even though I know that, the idea of the WWE just repeating the previous year’s Wrestlemania main event is just so irksome to me! Just by doing this, I already knew John Cena was going to win this time. Why? That’s because The Rock won last year! Even the WWE wouldn’t be so dumb to have a part-time WWE Superstar beat their current main event start twice in a row at Wrestlemania!
Since they already competed in last year’s Wrestlemania during the main event, everyone couldn’t help compare what was happening here and what happened then. The Rock just seemed much slower this time around, making the action overall come off as slower as well. Also, since we all knew John Cena wasn’t going to lose twice in a row, all of the near falls involving The Rock covering John Cena never had any tension. Speaking of near falls, there were just too much of those here! “Twice in a lifetime” just didn’t do it for me and a lot of WWE fans.
This was supposed to be The Undertaker‘s swan song. His very last match before he finally rests is peace. The problem his Wrestlemania match with Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania 33 was so bad, he just had to come back because he couldn’t end it with this!
I remember watching this live and I was actually excited. Even then, I felt this was going to be the last ride of The Undertaker. So, it had to be big! Not only that, this was a No Holds Barred match, meaning there was no disqualification. This would also help The Undertaker as, because of his already failing health, they could use the stipulation to cover up his body slowing down. They tried but it was obvious the Dead Man wasn’t in the shape he needed to be in an intense match with Roman Reigns.
They also didn’t do The Undertaker any favors by making this a long match as the Dead Man looked like a walking dead man in the middle of it. He just looked out of it! This in turn made Roman Reigns look bad in the ring, with moves like running at The Undertaker at full speed… only to stop to grab him to deliver an uppercut. The icing on top of this awfulness was Roman Reigns delivered another Wrestlemania loss for The Undertaker. I understand why the WWE did this as this was supposed to be a “passing of the torch” moment. The problem is The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania winning streak was already broken by this point! So, Roman Reigns’ win didn’t have the impact it needed.
The match’s only saving grace was the very long “farewell” moment from The Undertaker… but that was after the match. The match itself was poo-poo.
Yeah, this is what WWE fans want as a main event for Wrestlemania. Let’s have a football player beat a real professional wrestler to show professional wrestlers aren’t really good wrestlers. Good job, WWE.
Right off the bat, I knew I wasn’t going to like this match because it involved a non-professional wrestler, Lawrence Taylor, fight a WWE professional wrestler, Bam Bam Bigelow. This wouldn’t be so bad if this was part of the undercard of Wrestlemania XI. It isn’t. This was the final match of the night! This was the match the rest of Wrestlemania XI was building up to! What a load of disrespect to loyal WWE fans!
The WWE added to this crapfest by having Lawrence Taylor’s other football buddies take out other WWE professional wrestlers like King Kong Bundy (who was supposed to be a monster by the way!) with relative ease before the match even started! To his credit, Bam Bam Bigelow did a good job of taking care of Lawrence Taylor in the ring as he did make him look good by flipping and dipping a whole lot. Well, good-ish, at least. LT kept on trying to rally when he was supposed to eat a beatdown first. This actually tired him out as, by the end of the match, it looked like he could barely stand up! Still, he didn’t look terrible in the ring but that’s mostly thanks to Bam Bam Bigelow. I mean, he actually eased up on the boston crab and turned it into a leg grapevine because LT was probably running on fumes by then!
At least the finish had Lawrence Taylor win only because Bam Bam Bigelow hurt his knee after doing a twisting splash from the top rope. That’s much better than the celebrity just beating the professional wrestler because the celebrity is much tougher than the professional wrestler, right?
I knew Hulk Hogan would be back!
It just feels weird how this is the last match of Wrestlemania 8, especially when you also had “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship. This match. The one with no stakes is the main event of Wrestlemania 8. Anyway, this match started out really stupid with Sid Justice blindsiding Hulk Hogan as he was entering the ring… and Hulk Hogan’s music doesn’t stop! That was certainly a choice! Also, did we really need an almost 3 minute “test of strength” moment?
This started out as a standard “classic” Hulk Hogan match so it should have been fine. Hulk Hogan gets beat up for a while before “hulking up” to beat the heel. However, they tried to add some spice to the recipe but it turned the resulting dish to in inedible mess. For some inexplicable reason, Sid Justice’s manager, Harvey Whippleman, hopped into the ring to break the count even though Sid Justice kicked out. Even though Harvey Whippleman didn’t do anything like touch Hulk Hogan, this still resulted in a DQ! Then Papa Shango shambled towards the ring. Why? Anyway, Sid Justice and Papa Shango started beating on Hulk Hogan but he was saved by… The Ultimate Warrior? After Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior took care of the heels, they both celebrated in the ring to close out Wrestlemania 8. What the hell just happened?
Well, years later, we did find out why this was a mess of a main event. It all stemmed from Papa Shango was given a late cue to run to the ring. The plan was for Papa Shango to run in and break up the pinfall, leading to the DQ. As they messed that up, Harvey Whippleman had to improvise and step in. It still doesn’t make sense though but nice try!
Okay, fine. I can’t blame Papa Shango for the botched finish. Even so, who the heck thought having a DQ finish for the main even at Wrestlemania was a good idea in the first place? So, not only did the WWE have a terrible planned finish for the main event at Wrestlemania 8, the WWE also botched the terrible planned finish for the main event at Wrestlemania 8! Bravo. Only the WWE can mess up this bad… but as bad as this was, this wasn’t the worst Wrestlemania main event. That honor goes to…
I would advise you to sit back, ladies and gentlemen. As wild as the previous entry was, this is way crazier!
The advertised main event of Wrestlemania 9 saw Bret “The Hit Man” Hart defending the WWF World Heavyweight Championship against Yokozuna with Mr. Fuji in his corner. The match itself wasn’t really bad. I do like a good David vs. Goliath match and pitting Bret Hart against Yokozuna fits that bill perfectly. The Hit Man tried to take advantage of his technical ring prowess but, in the end, he just couldn’t overcome the power and girth of Yokozuna to become the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. At that point, this was the first time a heel won the main event of Wrestlemania.
Sike!
Nah, the WWE of that era wouldn’t have the guts to end Wrestlemania on a sour note! They had something up their sleeve to still turn things around by still sneaking in a face to end the show with a win. Unfortunately, the thing they had up their sleeve was Hulk Hogan! So, not only is Hulk Hogan back on this list, he’s also making this list with back-to-back Wrestlemania main events!
Anyway, the “real” main event of Wrestlemania 9 had Hulk Hogan, disgusted by the fact Yokozuna won the match because Mr. Fuji tossed salt in Bret Hart’s face, marched to the ring because… they’re good friends? First time I heard about this! Then, for some inexplicable reason, Mr. Fuji then challenged Hulk Hogan to an impromptu match for the championship Yokozuna just won! Bret Hart then forced Hulk Hogan to accept the match! Then, the heels tried to cheat by throwing salt at Hulk Hogan but The Hulkster ducked so the salt hit Yokozuna in the face instead! Hulk Hogan then rallied, hit his legdrop on Yokozuna, got the pinfall victory to become the NEW WWF World Heavyweight Champion in a freaking impromptu match at the end of Wrestlemania 9!
The match with Bret Hart and Yokozuna was fine. If it was just that, I wouldn’t mind. The problem is with all of the insanity after the match. Why is Hulk Hogan there? Why is Hulk Hogan sporting a black eye? Why did Mr. Fuji challenge Hulk Hogan and put up Yokozuna’s championship on the line? When did this impromptu challenge become official? Why try to cheat right in front of the referee’s face in the impromptu match you wanted? Why didn’t the referee call for a DQ right then and there? Did the bell even ring for the impromptu match? Why are the fans cheering for this pile of crap?
This is one of the most baffling way to end Wrestlemania as it doesn’t make a lick of sense! Yeah, I don’t take professional wrestling seriously. However, I don’t like it when it insults my intelligence either. This was bad and, hands down, the worst Wrestlemania main event ever. I hope I’ll remember this when I actually see the crapstorm that is Cody Rhodes vs Randy Orton this weekend. This way, I can say “At least this wasn’t Wrestlemania 9!”
Byee!
What would you say is the worst Wrestlemania main event? Why is it Wrestlemania 9? Let me know in the comments section below!
3rd World Geeks 