Five More Weird and Laughable Superhero Weaknesses

Comics are weird. You see these super powered being who have the power to lift up buildings with one hand, create multi-step plans to defeat alien armadas and be nigh-invulnerable to pretty much anything. But you still have this one weird thing they’re going to be susceptible to. What makes it ever weird is that the weakness will be something incredibly stupid. Whether is be Superman being weak to pretty, glowing rocks from his home planet, Batman getting his back broken by a musclebound man in a gimp mask or Green Lantern not being able to use his Power Ring just because it was painted yellow, there’s always going to be something.

I did take a look at five weird and laughable superhero weaknesses in the past. But there’s still a few more out there. So, let’s go loot at five more weird and laughable superhero weaknesses.

Saying his own name (Captain Marvel Jr.)

Well, actually he’s saying his favorite superhero’s name if you really want to get into the nitty-gritty of it all. But since that name is part of Captain Marvel Jr’s name, it still fits, doesn’t it?

It may sound weird that saying a superhero’s name grants you pretty much the same powers and abilities of said superhero but, for Captain Marvel Jr, it does make sense. That’s because, in order to save Freddy Freeman’s life, Captain Marvel gave a portion of his powers and abilities to the dying boy. As Billy Batson transforms into Captain Marvel by saying Shazam, which is the name of the wizard who game him his powers, it does make comic book sense for Freddy Freeman to transform into a superhero when he says the name of Captain Marvel, as he was the person who did give him powers as well.

So, why is this a weakness when it actually transforms him into a superhero? Well, that’s because saying the name will also transform Captain Marvel Jr back into powerless Freddy Freeman! This basically means he can’t even introduce himself properly while in public or else he blows his secret identity. The weird thing is that all of this could be avoided if he just changed his superhero name to something different than Captain Marvel Jr!

Needs to eat a lot and often (The Flash)

He can eat all of that food and not gain an ounce of weight? That might be a superhero weakness a lot of people might want! But, in all seriousness, it’s terrible.

Basically, because of how the Speed Force interacts with with The Flash’s metabolism, it turns out the Scarlet Speedster has to eat tons of food… literally. It turns out The Flash needs to consume a whole lot of calories in order to stay healthy. If he doesn’t, well, the comics don’t really say, but I’m going to assume it’s not going to be good. If it’s like real life, then this would mean The Flash could starve to death if he doesn’t eat anything in one day!

Not only that, I cannot imagine how eating like this would hamper his financial situation as he would constantly be buying food just to stay alive. Also, I don’t care how good the quality of the food he eats, but if he eats all that food, The Flash has to go to the bathroom very, very, very often! Still, I guess he can poop at super speed… or just run at incredibly fast while taking a dump? That may explain the appearance of all the fecal matter laying around Central City?

Being gagged (Zatanna)

Really? Another female superhero who’s got a weakness linked to bondage?

Well, you gotta bind her hands, too!

Who wouldn’t want to have Zatanna’s powers? She can conjure basically anything from out of nothing as long as she can say whatever she wants backwards. She has the innate ability to speak backwards so that’s not going to be a problem for her and it’s even a neat little side trick that can be super entertaining at parties… besides the magic, I mean.

However, being able to speak at all is the crux of her magic powers. This basically means that, if you manage to gag Zatanna or cover her mouth in some way, she would not be able to cast any spells, making her like a normal human being. Sure, that’s basically Batman and Green Arrow… but without the gadgets.

Not having any water for an hour (Aquaman)

Ever wonder why people make fun of Aquaman? Well, here’s one of the reasons why!

You just couldn’t shove some snow down? You really had to make a snowball, Aquaman?

Frankly, I’m glad DC made a lot of revisions to Aquaman as, in all honesty, it wasn’t totally their fault why he was treated as a joke. Most of the blame should fall on how Aquaman came off on the Super Friends cartoon. He was usually the one getting captured and he came off as more than useless whenever the mission didn’t have anything to do with the ocean. But it certainly didn’t help that he was given the reliance of needed to come in contact with water each hour or he’ll die!

This may not seem like much of a weakness as long as Aquaman is in a region that has some form of liquid nearby. It might even be mitigated if he had something on him like a water canteen (which he never did, the idiot). Still it’s a very lame weakness and DC did eventually realize this as he doesn’t have this dumb limitation anymore.

Anything from nature (Power Girl)

Finally, a woman superhero with a weakness other than bondage! Too bad it’s much, much lamer!

Knocked out by a tree branch? What are you, Green Lantern?

If you really think about it, Superman and every Kryptonian has a really dumb weakness. If they’re in close proximity to any form of kryptonite, they are immediately weakened by the radiation. You would think that, in the vastness of space, there would only be a few pieces of kryptonite on Earth. But it does seem like it’s super abundant and every criminal is handed their very own piece once they graduate from criminal college. You would think it would be a boon for Power Girl to not be affected by the irradiated rocks from Superman’s homeworld.

You’d be wrong because Power Girl’s weakness is much worse as she’s can be harmed by “raw, unprocessed, natural elements.” This basically translates to anything in nature! So, while Power Girl is invulnerable to things like normal firearms and explosions, she can be taken out by rather mundane things like a sharp tree branch and rocks being thrown at her. Thankfully, this was during the time after Crisis of Infinite Earths when she wasn’t a Kryptonian but actually an Atlantean given superpowers via magic and was eventually retconned out of existence.

BONUS: Not wearing his special glasses (Cyclops)

Finally, we have a non-DC superhero here and one from Marvel! But I had to put Cyclops as a bonus item as it’s not really a “weakness” in the strictest sense.

Cyclops is a mutant with the ability to shoot powerful beams of concussive force from his eyes, more widely known as his optic blasts. Unfortunately, he’s always shooting these optic blasts from his eyes as an accident during his childhood prevents him from actually controlling them. He can shut them off by closing his eyes but, if he does this, that simply means he can’t see. This is why he has to wear glasses made from special ruby quartz lenses which does filter the power of the beams while allowing him to actually see.

So, a lot of people might see Cyclops losing his glasses as a weakness as he has to close his eyes to shut the beams. But I do see (pun intended) things differently. I mean, he doesn’t become weaker if he loses his glasses and he still retains his ability to shoot his optic blasts, right? He also has some control over them as he can shut them off by closing his eyelids. It’s more of a hindrance than a weakness, if you ask me.

What other weird and laughable superhero weaknesses can you think of? Let me know what they are in the comments section below!

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