I’ll Review Anything: WWE’s Hell In A Cell (2015)

Hiya!

Another month, another WWE pay-per-view. In all honesty, I’m starting to lose faith in the WWE. In fact, I don’t remember watching Raw, Smackdown or even NXT for the past couple of weeks. Have I gotten so bored with wrestling lately that I’m thinking of quitting it altogether? This is precisely why Hell in a Cell almost passed me by. I just stumbled upon it while skimming through the cable channels!

I almost decided against watching it because, well, I didn’t really know what the matches were. But, hey, it was on and maybe, just maybe, Hell in a Cell can rekindle my love for wrestling!


Match #1: John Cena Open Invitational for the United States Championship

I knew this John Cena United States Open Invitational was going to bite him in the butt one of these days. And it just so happened to be during Hell In A Cell. Once again, John Cena invited all comers to take his United States Title. Then, Zeb Colter comes out and I could almost hear the live audience let out a collective groan as we were all expecting Cena to face off against the (boring) Jack Swagger.

Boy, were we in for a shocker!

Instead, we got a returning Alberto Del Rio! I honestly didn’t expect it and neither did a lot of the WWE Universe. Unfortunately, the match itself was just okay. Definitely shorter than a lot of Cena’s US Open Invitational title defenses and totally not as exciting. Still, Alberto Del Rio actually looked much better now than he did a couple of years ago! The finish came with Alberto Del Rio slithering out of the Attitude Adjustment. He then hit a Backstabber, followed with a big kick to the face for the pinfall. While a solid match overall, I was just expecting a lot more, especially from a Cena match as well as a returning Del Rio.

Rating: 6 of 10 Rascal riding Zeb Colters


Match #2: Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt in Hell in a Cell

The first Hell in a Cell match of the night. I would think this is a “make or break” match for Roman Reigns as he still needs to prove to the WWE Universe that he can pull off a good match. Well, I think he did! He and Bray Wyatt took a lot of big hits throughout this bout, which I strongly appreciated!

This was a pretty brutal match, with both Reigns and Wyatt taking a lot of punishment. There was one particularly nasty spot where Wyatt slammed Reigns through a table set up outside the ring from the apron! There was another spot where Reigns speared Wyatt from the apron to a table! I was actually impressed neither one of them managed to get bloodied throughout the entire thing. The end came when Reigns grabbing a kendo stick and smacking Wyatt around with it before sending the Eater of Worlds into a turnbuckle with a kendo stick (don’t ask). Reigns finished off his opponent with a spear. Delightful match and I have to agree with the crown as this match was indeed “awesome.”

Rating: 8 of 10 turnbuckle with kendo stick… thingies


Match #3: The Dudley Boyz vs The New Day for the Tag Team Championship

I may love the Dudley Boyz… but I just love The New Day much, much more. Yes, even sans Xavier Woods, I still love the antics of The New Day! I mean, only he could think of sending “unicorn magic” through Twitter!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but feel there was something wrong with the entire match. Maybe it was because we saw both teams face off during Night of Champions last month. Maybe because this match is following a really awesome Hell in a Cell match. Maybe it was because of a really sloppy botched move by the Dudleys which looked really awkward. Maybe it was because Xavier Woods wasn’t there. Whatever the reason, I just didn’t feel it. The finish came with Kofi Kingston attempting to pull an Eddie Guerrero… but the referee didn’t bite!

The New Day were still able to put Xavier Woods’ battered trombone to good use as Big E used it to strike Bubba Ray in the back while the ref was distracted. Kofi used the opportunity to hit Trouble In Paradise for the pinfall victory.

Rating: 6 of 10 “unicorn magic” hand gestures


Match #4: Charlotte vs Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship

Man, I really hate Nikki Bella… which is why it pains me to say that I actually enjoyed this match.

Now, this is how to do a Divas match! One-on-one. No other Divas at ringside to muck things up or run interference. And actually doing moves that some male wrestlers would refuse to perform! I do think the match was better than your typical Divas match as of late because of Charlotte’s willingness to take a brutal amount of punishment. I mean, that Alabama Slam by Nikki on Charlotte to the ring apron was wicked! The finish came with Charlotte escaping Nikki’s Rack Attack and rolling her opponent into her Figure-Eight leglock for the submission victory. Pretty good match; I still hate Nikki Bella but I will give her credit where credit is due.

Rating: 7.5 of 10 Alamaba Slams onto the ring apron


Match #5: Demon Kane vs Seth Rollins for the WWE Heavyweight Title… and Corporate Kane’s job

Essentially, it’s title vs. job!

Okay, I’m confused… Is Demon Kane and Corporate Kane two separate people? Because that’s how the announces made it seem! Both Rollins and Kane pulled off some really stiff looking moves. But nothing was as stiff as the Spanish announce table! Rollins slipped out of an attempted chokeslam from on top of the “regular” announce table and powerbombed Kane onto the Spanish announce table… which didn’t break apart! It looked kinda funny actually. The finish came when Kane kicked out of a frog splash. Rollins followed up with a Pedigree for the pinfall victory. Anyway, this match was just okay. Nothing spectacular.

Hey, shouldn’t they have mentioned to the crowd that Kane just lost his job?

Rating: 5 of 10 unbreakable Spanish announce tables


Match #6: Ryback vs Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Championship

Hey, look! Another rematch from Night of Champions!

I know Kevin Owens is a fantastic wrestler as evidenced by his stint as NXT Champion and his matches against John Cena. I also know that Ryback has a lot of intensity and power as evidenced by, well, his muscles. But the two of them in a match… bleh. Owens didn’t get to really show his stuff and neither did The Big Guy. The match felt long even if it was only 7 minutes long! The match came to a merciful end with Owens raking the eyes of Ryback, giving him the time to hit the Pop-Up Powerbomb for the pinfall victory.

Rating: 3 of 10… I can’t think of anything cute to write because this was a very boring match


Match #7: The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar in Hell in a Cell

The rubber match!

This was supposed to show who was the better Superstar: The Deadman or The Beast Incarnate. This didn’t disappoint. Both Lesnar and Taker took a beating and both competitors got bloody because of it. There were chairshots galore and steelsteps used! They even tried to do something different with Lesnar tearing off the mat to expose the wood flooring of the ring! This was almost Lesnar’s downfall as Taker managed to hit a chokeslam onto the exposed wood! The Deadman followed it up with a Tombstone piledriver onto the wood… which obviously missed but the announcers played it up like it connected.

The real finish came with Lesnar hitting a (legal) low blow on Taker and seizing the opportunity to land his patented F5 on Taker on the exposed wood for the pinfall. Simply awesome match!

Rating: 10 of 10 “This is awesome” chants

On a side note, as Hell in a Cell closed, The Undertaker is slow to get up. He is then assaulted by the Wyatt Family and carried out of the ring. I’m not rating this segment but, in my opinion, yeesh! Do we really need to see Undertaker take on the Wyatts again?


Overall Rating for WWE’s Hell in a Cell (2015)

Both Hell in a Cell matches were fantastic and, despite my hatred for Nikki Bella, she did prove she can have a good match if she’s paired with a risk-taker like Charlotte. It was also a nice surprise to see Alberto Del Rio back in the WWE again. However, this year’s Hell in a Cell is far from being a great pay-per-view because the rest of the matches were either lackluster (the Tag Team and Heavyweight matches) or downright boring (the Intercontinental bout).

However, I will give it a high score because the good matches were really great. And, you know what, I may come back to watching Raw on a more regular basis again! Thanks, Hell in a Cell!

Rating: 8 of 10 exposed wrestling rings


Byee!

Did you watch this year’s Hell in a Cell? What did you think of it? Let me know what your thoughts are in the comments section below!

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