Episode 125: Feminism and Me (Part 2)


Last week, I talked about one of my issues regarding feminists, which was how women and men should be treated equally, yet differently. This week, I explain my second issue with feminism. And that is how feminists don’t seem to treat women equally.

Before I go on my tirade, I have to reiterate that I don’t have any issues with feminism. Like I said last week, I’m totally for feminism. Wanting gender equality is good! Feminism is great! Some feminist on the other hand? Well, I have some issues with some of them. Not because I’m against feminism. Rather, it’s because their views on what feminism should be doesn’t take into account that all women have different wants, needs,likes, dislikes and personalities. Basically, I don’t like the feminists that only take the side of their own viewpoint without considering the viewpoints of others.

Take the women that cosplay for example. In fact, let’s get really really specific. Let’s talk about Quiet, the female sniper in the latest Metal Gear Solid game, The Phantom Pain. From what I understand, Hideo Kojima (the mastermind behind all previous Metal Gear games) made Quiet’s design specifically with cosplay and to sell figurines in mind. That apparently means she dressed in virtually nothing! So, we have this incredible badass female sniper and she’s dressed in a bikini, torn stockings and combat boots. And she frolics in the rain sooooo sensually as well!

So, yes, I do think that Quiet’s wardrobe choice, no matter what plot the plot of The Phantom Pain says, is for boys to drool over the eye candy. Her outfit is to make it easy for the male audience to ogle at her (admittedly) very sexy body. Her movements and even the sway of her walk was specifically made to make her incredibly hot. So, there’s no way any girl in their right mind would decide to cosplay in the incredibly sexist character that is Quiet, right?

Wrong! Ever since her design was revealed to the public, a lot of women have decided they really wanted to cosplay Quiet! And they’ve done a spectacular job in copying her look! I mean, they really took her look to heart and they are going out to places dressed up as skimpily as Quiet! I’m guessing some feminists are riled up since these cosplayers played right into Kojima’s filthy, misogynistic plot to get lots of women (and, at least, one guy) to walk around in a bikini to get ogled at guys.

I don’t think so.

I think most of these cosplayers decided to dress up as Quiet for various reasons. For one, Quiet does have a really great design and, since the costume is incredibly simple (it is essentially just a black bikini, after all), it’s very easy to scrounge around to get the perfect look! Also, despite her really “erotic” look, Quiet is definitely a badass! Who wouldn’t want to look like a badass?

But the biggest issue I have with the argument about dressing up as a sexy character is that it’s wrong to dress up sexy in the first place! I don’t think it’s wrong if a woman wants to dress up sexy and flaunting her natural assets. In fact, I know a lot of people who dress provocatively not because they’ve succumbed to the patriarchal hierarchy. They dress that way because it makes them feel powerful! I mean, I know I’ve dolled myself up to attract the attention of guys. It’s nice to feel wanted!

Who doesn't want this kind of attention?

Who doesn’t want this kind of attention?

I also have a problem with this weird idea of some feminists that women shouldn’t ask for a man’s help because, hey, if they can do it, so can we. But here’s my way of thinking of that: do we really want to? I remember one time when three of my friends went to this party. We got all dressed up and I think we got a fair amount of eyes on us because we really looked good that night. When it was time to leave, we couldn’t because the car we went in had a flat tire.

I recall one of my friends saying that let’s just call a cab and get the car in the morning. However, my friend that owns the car totally refused to leave the car since she’ll get in trouble with her parents. So the first friend said that we should just change the tire ourselves. This is when my third friend chimed in: why don’t we just let some of the guys from the party do that for us? I went in with my third friend (who, admittedly, is probably the most… “outgoing” among us) almost instantly tapped the closest guy he saw and said her car had a flat tire and we needed help getting it fixed. Almost immediately, we had around 4-5 guys clambering outside, trying to figure out how to get the tire fixed!

We could've done it ourselves... but we didn't want our miniskirt to get all dirty

We could’ve done it ourselves… but we didn’t want our miniskirt to get all dirty

In this instance, I believe our looks and the way we were dressed with why we got all of this attention. And, in all honesty, That friend of mine that got the guy’s assistance has been using her feminine wiles to get the things she wants ever since we were young teenagers. And I can’t really fault her for using her “power” to do so. I mean, it’s what she’s good at! Why should she deny or handicap herself by not using her “skills?” I actually think it’s kind of sexist to deny that part of ourselves!

And there are some women that use their beauty to get what they want. I have to mention a documentary I watched on YouTube called The Truth About Webcam Girls. In general, the most hardcore feminists hate pornography. In all honesty, I can understand why they do. Most pornography is pretty demeaning to women. And stripping seems like a really degrading way to make money for most people. But what about the women who actually like having sex? What about the exhibitionist that just love the attention they get from stripping? In The Truth About Webcam Girls, one of the girls, Carla, actually likes doing all of that! And getting paid to do it? Well, that’s just gravy!

This is why I strongly believe that, while feminism and the idea of being treated equally despite one’s gender, is a good thing, it’s still solely up to the individual to determine what’s right (or wrong) for him or her. I don’t like the idea of some feminist forcing their ideals on me and other women. That, in itself, is pretty discrimination; that you’re somehow better than us! It’s not up to one person to decide what’s good for them. As long as they’re not harming anyone, that’s fine by me.

Well, since I did speak of Quiet early on, that did make me think of my favorite female characters in video games. And I’d like to talk about that next week!


What are your thoughts on feminism and feminists? Let me know in the comments section below!

4 thoughts on “Episode 125: Feminism and Me (Part 2)

  1. I find this whole thing confusing. I think third wave feminism addresses all the things you claim are legitimate criticisms of feminism. Feminism isn’t about limiting choices for people or judging them for liking sex, or dressing sexily, or getting help from a man or any of those tired, old clichés (although it DOES address these issues, just not in the way you’re implying). Third wave feminism is about addressing the overarching, underlying, and subtle systems of oppression at play that create a society where women are undervalued compared to men. Also, feminism is about other things too: race, class, gender, sexuality, etc. etc. It’s about the intersections of privilege and oppression and how and where people fall on those intersections and how their life experiences benefit or hurt because of it. This includes men, women, trans, or otherwise identifying people. All this talk about women who like web cams or feminists don’t think women should wear sexy clothes or whatever…it’s minimizing the discussion and we’ve moved well past it. It’s taking a small section out of context and using old cliches.

    • If that’s the case, I’m all for third wave feminism. I guess, where I come from, a third world country, third wave feminism hasn’t really gotten all mainstream yet. Kinda ironic that a “third” worold country hasn’t really accepted “third” world feminism wholeheartedly.

      I think I live in a society where the tired old cliches you mentioned are still alive and well. Women are looked down upon and shamed when they say they enjoy sex (because sex without marriage is immoral and pornography is illegal in the country). Society here still tries to put women in stereotypical roles such as being a housewife to raise kids. A lot of people here are strongly against homosexual marriage because it’s an affront to God. Speaking of which, you can be considered to be an outcast of society if you’re not religious; being a atheist is just wrong over here. The society here is just not that accepting to other points of view than what “you’re supposed to believe in”.

      This is what I generally see. And this is why I wrote this here, so it can’t help but color my view regarding what I see. But I do see some changes in attitude, especially with younger people like myself.

      • I strongly, strongly recommend you read up on intersectional feminism and third wave feminism. In fact, I strongly recommend you read up on feminism in general and not a straw-man version of it. Also, to further address a few other points in your article, feminism actually fights for women’s rights to dress and behave however they choose, particularly when it comes to the rights of women to have sexual partners, wear revealing clothing (whether they want to or not), be a stay at home parent, or be a parent who works. Meaning, feminism fights against slut shaming and victim blaming and also against the idea that women is a failure if she’s a stay at home mom or the idea that a women is a failure if she’s NOT a stay at home mom. Sorry, confusing wording, but you get it. (One step further, feminism ALSO fights for the rights of men to be stay at home fathers without societal judgment! Because men should have the right to choose to be the primary parent as well!) Bottom line, we need people to be truly informed about feminism and we need people to be feminists.

      • Thanks! I guess my current view of feminism is rather limited. I will try to check on those different kinds of feminism. Hopefully, I will learn a lot from checking them out.

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