I’ll Review Anything: Monster Energy Drinks

A couple of weeks ago, I attended this year’s Pinoy Gaming Festival as a spectator. I was planning to join the Super Street Fighter IV tournament (and ultimately lose big time) but I couldn’t because… well, anyway, that’s not important. I still managed to have fun and watch a whole lot of good matches, get in touch with a lot of my brethren of the fighting game community and play some casuals.

The ticket to the event entitled me to a free energy drink from Monster. I’ve heard stories about the energy drink; I know someone who swears by it and I also know someone who gets monstrous headaches (pun intended) after consuming an entire can immediately. Personally, I’m not a big energy drink kind of guy. But, since it’s going to be free, I might as well try it! And it’s a good thing because I was lacking a bit of sleep!

So, I mosey to the booth that was selling it, presented my entrance ticket and got my free Monster Energy Drink. It was the… green flavor? I’m not really sure what it’s supposed to be but, hey, the “M” on the can was colored green so I’ll just call it “green” for now.

Flavored to taste exactly like the color green.

Flavored to taste exactly like the color green.

Speaking of the can, I have to admit that it’s pretty big for an energy drink! I’ve seen Red Bull, another popular energy drink, and the cans I’ve seen were pretty small compared to this free sample Monster I got! Honestly, I was feeling a bit intimidated. Should a person like me, who really doesn’t even like drinking regular coffee be drinking this large 16-ounce can of caffeine-infused liquid? Well, it is free… and the girls that gave me the drink are looking at me…

There's a joke about girls and needing energy here somewhere...

There’s a joke here about girls and me needing energy somewhere…

So, I took my first swig of it and my first impression of it was “Wow! This thing is sweet as heck!” I mean, it’s extremely sweet! That made me have my doubts as to where I’m actually getting my energy when I consume this. Is it just going to be a quick boost of energy from various sugars and then, after a few minutes, I’ll come crashing down after this extreme sugar high? I’d have to wait for a while to determine it.

I took a couple more sips and, I have to say, after the initial shock of how sweet the Monster energy drink is, the taste kind of grows on you. I still can’t really determine what flavor this “green” thing is supposed to be, though. All I tasted was sweet, sweet, sweet and nothing else. And, even though I sort of got used to the “flavor,” I did get kind of sick of the candied flavor. So I took a break from drinking it…

…Which was a good idea, it turns out! I took a closer look at the nutritional facts on the can and the huge can I was holding was supposed to contain two servings, which means it’s not a good idea to try and drink the entire thing in one go! If this is the case, shouldn’t Monster make a smaller can with one serving instead of these huge cans that contain more than necessary? And, also, if I’m supposed to only drink half of its contents, you expect me to lug around the remaining liquid around? Not cool, Monster.

It's hard to read, but trust me, it's there!

It’s hard to read, but trust me, it’s there!

I also looked at the ingredients and my suspicions were correct. Sure, there’s caffeine in the can but it isn’t the main ingredient; Monster energy drinks seem to use sugar as its main source of energy. Not only do they have sucrose in it, they made sure you got even more sugar by adding glucose as well! So, a word of warning for diabetics: Monster isn’t for you. To its credit, I did feel I had more energy after drinking half of the can and I didn’t have a sugar crash so Monster did do its job: it gave me energy.

Sucrose = Sugar Glucose = Sugar

Sucrose = Sugar
Glucose = Sugar

Overall, my free sample of Monster didn’t convert me into a lover of energy drinks. I can understand why people do drink it as I did feel much more awake after drink it. But I don’t think energy drinks are for me in the first place. Monster energy drinks may do okay in a pinch but I’d rather take a nap instead to re-energize myself.

Do you use energy drinks regularly? How does the Monster energy drink stack up? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

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