I think it’s safe to say that, if you grew up as a kid during the ’80s and ’90s, you were living in the glory days of toys and toy marketing. After all, this was the time period where some of the most remembered toylines were put out. This was the period when we got the Transformers, He-Man, MASK, the smaller GI Joe figures and the like.

Alas, because of all of the good toylines that came out during this time, a lot of bad ones also came out of the woodwork. Okay, I would have said they were terrible back then when I was growing up then. But that was only because the good stuff were leagues better than what these were! As a kid, when you got these, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. As an adult now, I know parents were only doing their best then. Still, it did kind of sting when you didn’t get the “triple-A” stuff from the primo toyline.

So, let’s go take a journey back in time to look at some of the toys that told you “your parents didn’t love you” in your mind.

#1 Gobots

So, I already mentioned how the Transformers is one of the toylines that was considered the top of the line. They were so cool because, not only did you get a cool looking robot to play with, it could transform into another thing like a car, a gun or, in Soundwave‘s case, something called a cassette player?

Anyway, what if I told you Transformers didn’t actually pioneer the giant robot transforming toy gimmick? That’s because, a year before the Transformers toys were released, Tonka already put out the Gobots!

Originally from the Japanese Machine Robo series, the Gobots were licensed by Tonka for production in the United States in 1983. The Gobot figures were pretty tiny and usually had very simple transformations. To promote the toyline, a cartoon series, Challenge of the Gobots, was produced and released in 1984. This yearlong delay did kind of prove to be the Gobots undoing as this was the same time the Transformers made their push. As the Transformers featured much more detailed figures, despite coming out a full year earlier, it made the Gobots toys look like a cheap copycat.

To be fair, I never disliked the Gobots toys. I did like how tiny they are, making them so much easier to smuggle into school, unlike a lot of the larger Transformers toys. They were pretty fun to play with as well. Alas, there was only room for one transforming robot toyline during the time and, for the Gobots, coming out first didn’t mean they were the best.

#2 Tiger Electronics Handheld Games

When the video game market crashed in 1983, most people thought video games were just a fad and its time had passed by. Then, in 1985, something miraculous happened as Nintendo came in with the Nintendo Entertainment System and revived this supposedly dead industry. Soon after, Nintendo revolutionized the video game industry again with the Game Boy handheld. Other companies, such as SEGA and Atari, tried to insert themselves into the portable gaming market with the Game Gear and the Lynx. However, none of them could outlast the staying power of Nintendo’s Game Boy.

There was one other contender, however. It stuck around for so long but, at the same time, never gave Nintendo a run for their money. That’s because the Tiger Electronic Handheld Games pretty much sucked!

To be fair, Nintendo did make video games like the Tiger Electronics Handhelds with their Game and Watch series. But that was during the early 80s! Tiger Electronics were basically recycling the then very old Game and Watch LCD screen technology to be used in the ’90s! This did make them very cheap to make, making it the handy “gift” for forgetful parents or those who were on a very, very tight budget.

Unlike the Gobots, I don’t really have any memories of them. While I will acknowledge I did play a whole bunch of them, they were pretty forgettable as I cannot, for the life of me, remember any specific one! This is in sharp contrast with the Game and Watch games I played during my early youth. Those were fun and memorable. The Tiger Electronic Handheld Games? Not so much.

#3 “Variant” Action Figures

With every toyline, there are going to be those figures that are highly sought after. So, it would make sense for toy companies to pump out more of their top selling figures, right? No, because that would make too much sense! Instead, what they would do is create “variant” figures based on their most popular action figures. That way, they can say they are “expanding” the line without having to create new molds and whatnot.

This also forces collectors to buy pretty much the same thing but, since they toy maker says it’s different, they gotta get it to complete their collection! This is why we got figures like Faker from He-Man or, my personal favorite, Captain Picard disguised as a Romulan. Hey, Jean-Luc Picard looked like a Romulan in that one episode! That’s enough for us to make a figure and sell it, right?

Now, maybe as an adult, you would care to get these figures. But as a kid, you don’t really want them. You don’t want some blue He-Man! You want the real He-Man figure! You don’t want Picard cosplaying as a alien! You want to see his bald head as clear as day on your action figure!

Even as an adult, I pretty much shun “variant” action figures. They’re never as “fun” as the original versions so I don’t really bother with them. If I have a Masterpiece Transformers version of Inferno, I don’t have any compulsion to get the Masterpiece Transformer version of Grapple. They’re basically the same thing.

BONUS: T-Bob from MASK

As this is part of an actual good toyline, I’m just placing this in the Bonus section.

No one liked T-Bob from MASK, which is kind of ironic. After all, this is a robot that transforms into a scooter, very much reminiscent of the Transformers line. The problem is T-Bob, along with his driver, Scott Tracker, were just annoying! They were the comic relief… and they weren’t funny nor amusing! So, why the heck would I want a figure of the two most annoying characters in the show?

But you know there are some parents who got T-Bob because they thought their kid would love a genuine MASK toy! And it’s the one that’s based on the cute robot! Parents sometimes just don’t have a clue.

What other toylines can you think of which made you think your parents didn’t care for you? Let me know in the comments section below!