A couple of years ago, Rick and Morty did an entire episode on heist films with Morty going to Netflix to pitch his own heist movie. Then Rick concocts this super elaborate heist-like scheme to make Morty think heist films are stupid as well. Pretty good stuff.

A part of me can’t help but think this is how Lift was greenlit by Netflix. I can just imagine Kevin Hart running all excited to the Netflix offices with his idea of how fantastic it would be if a crew would try to heist a bunch of gold off a plane while in mid-flight. As a lover of heist movies, I do like the idea. However, when it comes to the execution of Lift, I’m with Rick on this one: it’s stupid.

Before I do get into the review proper, I am foregoing my usual practice for new releases and making this a SPOILER FILLED review. It’s kind of important as a lot of the problems I have with this movie deals with specific details of the movie itself. So, yeah, SPOILER FILLED review incoming!

Lift stars Kevin Hart as Cyrus, the leader of a crew of thieves who steal valuable art pieces. In their latest heist, Interpol agent Abby Gladwell, who used to date Cyrus while undercover (and while Cyrus was also using a fake identity), caught one of his crew. Instead of arresting Cyrus and the rest of his group, Abby’s boss forces her to coerce the team to steal a gold shipment from a terrorist bankroller in order to foil a future terrorist attack. Cyrus and his crew agree for full immunity and they decide the only way to steal the gold is to get it while it’s being flown from London to Zurich.

Now, I will say the premise of Lift does sound pretty cool. I mean, how can you steal gold while on a plane without anyone knowing? Unfortunately, a good premise isn’t enough when the actual plan and the execution of said plan is dumb. And Lift definitely has a a dumb plan and terrible execution of the plan. That’s because they’re not actually going to make the gold disappear while the plane is in transit.

Like I said, this is a SPOILER FILLED review so I’m going to now say what the plan was. The plan is to simply divert the plane from Zurich to a small, out-of-nowhere airfield so they can then take the gold shipment from the plane to the FBI. Did they really need a crew of, what, six people to do this? This isn’t even counting the outside help from an air traffic controller!

In fact, the heist involves a “master of disguise” to bring an oxygen tank that hides a laser needed for the “safecracker” to open the vault holding the gold. Did they really need a “master of disguise” to do this? Why not have the safecracker bring the oxygen tank in himself? Why did they need to make this complicated hand-off where the “master of disguise” has to distract the stewardess so the “safecracker” can stealthily take the oxygen canister below deck?

Of course I know the answer. Or answers as the case may be. First, it’s a heist movie and all purveyors of heist films want to see these slick moves, even if they’re unnecessary. Second, and more importantly, it allows lift to have a pretty stacked international cast. I didn’t even know Vincent D’Onofrio was in the movie until I started watching Lift! I guess some Netflix subscribers from other parts of the world will get a kick from seeing Ursula Corbero and Kim Yoon-ji in the film as I presume they might be popular in their native countries.

However, most of the cast is also pretty disposable. They’re all supposed to have their roles like “hacker,” “master of disguise,” “driver/pilot,” “safecracker, “engineer” and the like. But in both the heists that are shown in lift, a couple of them aren’t really needed to pull it off. This is especially true for Vincent D’Onofrio as the “master of disguise” of the crew because a master of disguise isn’t really needed here! There’s no long con so he needs to hide his face in any way here! Heck, the rest of the crew just go into missions and they’re also playing different characters! Why have a “master of disguise” when you already have others fulfilling the role? Well, it’s because they needed something for Vincent D’Onofrio to do.

The movie also feels like a waste of Vincent D’Onofrio or, well, the rest of the stacked cast actually. I know Kevin Hart is mostly known for his over-the-top mannerisms and acting. So, I’m kind of impressed he restrained himself here as he does try to sound more suave and definitely less spastic. However, it just feels lacking. It’s not a bad performance; it’s just nothing I would say stands out. You also have Sam Worthington here as Agent Abby Gladwell’s boss and he also does a good but lacking performance. Heck, I guess you can say that for everyone involved in the movie! The only performance I actually liked was Jean Reno as the big bad guy just because he just works as a bad guy.

Then again, I can’t really blame the actors as the script and the story is pretty bad. The script doesn’t give the characters any real time to show any real personality to make them memorable in any way. They’re given stereotypes but it’s not enough to distinguish them from the other stereotypes you’ve seen in other heist films. But the biggest problem of the script is the plan itself. Like in any “good” heist film, the thieves have an alternate plan and the plan here is to actually steal the gold for themselves instead of delivering the shipment to the government. And they do this by airdropping it from the plane without the pilot noticing.

Once again, my issue isn’t the plan itself but more of the execution of the plan because they sabotaged their own plan in order to execute this plan! You see, they make it seem like the “engineer” quit the job but he was actually given another task to guide the gold crate. Well, the “engineer” was supposed to have a part to boost a transmitter needed to pull off the heist. So, why did they give this part, albeit somewhat unnecessary, to the “engineer” when it would mess up the plan? In fact, they had Agent Abby Gladwell put together the pieces of the transmitter but it got busted up in the process? Why leave anything to chance here? Oh, because it’s a heist movie and they have to make it so “it was all according to plan” all along.

Overall, Lift isn’t a terrible movie. It’s just forgettable and disposable. I don’t really regret watching it as there are some neat scenes here and there. But the missteps the film made were just too numerous for me. I say just watch it if you have nothing left to watch or if you want something on in the background.

Have you seen Lift? What did you think of it? Let me know in the comments section below!