It’s a new year and, like with most other new years, I try out something new. Usually, it’s something I bought for myself during the Christmas season. But, sadly, this year, I wasn’t able to find anything that tickled my fancy. However, while browsing through YouTube, a trailer for a new action movie was suggested to me. It was the trailer for the new Apple TV+ original film, the Family Plan.

Well, I never really considered subscribing to Apple TV+ as I already have Netflix, Disney+ and HBO Go (because we’re apparently not allowed to get MAX here in the Philippines) and I think three movie/TV subscription services is enough. Still, I showed the trailer to my mother who wanted to see it because, well, it has Mark Walhberg in it. So, I decided to get the free week trial to see the Family Plan. I mean, if it’s good, maybe I will consider subscribing to the service after all.

By the way, this is going to be a SPOILER FREE review. I’m not really sure how many people have seen the Family Plan as I haven’t heard any buzz around it nor have I been able to scour any reviews for it. So, I’m assuming not many people have seen it, despite it being released right smack in the middle of December. Anyway, SPOILER FREE review!

The Family Plan stars Mark Wahlberg as a seemingly normal guy named Dan Morgan with a wife and three children. However, in reality, he was a government assassin who managed to escape the lifestyle and is in hiding from the very people he used to work for. When the people he used to work for find out where he is, Dan takes his family to Las Vegas and says it’s a surprise vacation. In actuality, he uses the trip to meet up with an old contact to get new identities for himself and his family.

If this summary sound very familiar, that’s because it has been done before with movies like True Lies and the like. So, the Family Plan’s plot isn’t all that original. But just because it’s not fresh, that doesn’t mean it’s going to be bad, right? Well, sadly, in this case, it kinda is. The Family Plan feels less like a big budget film and more like a made-for-TV movie… which it is, come to think of it.

I will say the acting is overall decent… in a made-for-TV kind of way. Mark Wahlberg is pretty good playing the seemingly docile dad hiding all of his assassin skills underneath. However, it also feels rather bland as he’s basically playing the same character as he has done before. He’s generally likable but very one note. I can say the same thing for the rest of the family members as they don’t really get to do anything but be dumb to what’s happening for the majority of the film’s 119-minute runtime.

In fact, I will say the family dynamic comes off as very weak here as I don’t really believe they’re a family. They just don’t exude any real chemistry and they just come off as very distant from each other. Even in the scenes where they’re supposed to be drawing closer together, it feels like it’s just on the surface.

I have to give special mention to the baby in the film because he’s contributes virtually nothing to the film. I guess he’s supposed to be the cute baby who’s supposed to illicit a laugh here and there. But the baby isn’t cute enough to do that and even his reactions to all of the violence isn’t cute. I even will go as far as saying he’s more like an annoying distraction and should have been edited out of the movie. However, if they did, we wouldn’t have this okay fight scene in a supermarket where Mark Wahlberg has to fight off a goon while the baby is strapped to his chest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVsK1-xs_jg&ab_channel=TheScenes

Speaking of the fight scenes, most of them are pretty laughable. I mean, the guys Mark Wahlberg have to face off against are pretty good but, for some odd reason, it’s the scenes where it’s actually Mark Wahlberg and not a stunt double that look bad. I know he’s getting up on the years as he’s already pushing fifty now. But it’s just so jarring when he looks so slow and then cut to scenes where his stunt double is jumping around like a spry freedom fighter. Basically, the stuntwork was fine as long as actual stunt performers were doing them.

I also have to talk about the weird collaboration with Valorant for the Family Plan. I get the producers wanting to be hip by adding an actual competitive video game and how it’s cool and all that jazz. They even went to get prominent gamer Valkyrae be in the film. But the setup of the Valorant tournament just felt weird. To Valkyrae and the other “gamers” playing in the tournament credit, they actually sounded like gamers playing a game and not those over exaggerated gamers who yell a lot in other movies. They felt like actual people, which was refreshing.

However, my major criticism with the scenario is how Valkyrae pulled in a ringer during the finals. Is that even legal? Can you just replace one of your players with another without any real reason besides “Oh, I found someone better to play in my team in the finals”? I just feel the other team would be objecting to this switcheroo.

All-in-all, the Family Plan is a pretty forgettable film. However, I would definitely be more upset if this was something that was released in theaters. But, as it was just released on Apple TV+ to give subscribers something new to watch, it’s not terrible enough to get mad at. The thing is, I’m not actually a subscriber yet and the Family Plan did not give my enough for me to consider taking the plunge and get the streaming service. Shucks, I just now realized Apple TV+ has Monarch: Legacy of Monsters. But I won’t be able to see the entire season with my free full week trial. Stupid Mark Wahlberg.

Have you seen the Family Plan? What did you think of it? Let me know in the comments section below!