I’ll Review Anything: Wrestlemania XXX

Hiya!

Wrestlemania can be considered the SuperBowl of the wrestling world. It’s known as “the grandaddy of them all” and “the grandest stage of them all.” It’s definitely the biggest event of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). But, on paper, this year’s card looked pretty boring. John Cena against Bray Wyatt to save his “legacy.” The Shield vs. Kane and The New Age Outlaws. A 30-man over-the-top Battle Royale for a trophy. “The Beast” Brock Lesnar attempts to end the Undertaker’s legendary 21-year undefeated streak at Wrestlemania.

Thankfully, there were some shocking twists this year which rescued the 30th Wrestlemania from being a bore-fest. In fact, I’m predicting this will be one of the most memorable ‘Manias of all time for a couple of big reasons! But, just because it’s memorable, it doesn’t mean it’s good. Let’s break down each match and segment and see what conclusion I come to afterwards!

Tell me if you heard this one: The Rock, Stone Cold and The Hulkster walk into a bar...

Tell me if you heard this one: The Rock, Stone Cold and The Hulkster walk into a bar…

Introducing the host(s) of this year’s Wrestlemania…

Hulk Hogan comes out and goes through his entire schtick about how he was at the very first Wrestlemania and mistakenly calls the Superdome the Silverdome (the home of Wrestlemania III). Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock come out and they have a good old time (and make good, lighthearted fun at Hogan’s expense). Being a fan of the Attitude Era, just seeing Steve Austin and The Rock and have some beers with the Immortal Hulk Hogan made me smile.

Grade: 8 out of 10 chugged Bud Lights

Bryan VS Triple H

The Beard vs. The Bald

Match #1: Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H

With the stipulation of the match being the winner will compete in the Triple Threat Match for the WWE Heavyweight Championship later, it was a foregone conclusion that the leader of the Yes Movement will beat the CEO of the WWE and move on. Oh, and Triple H will obviously attack Bryan after the match and “injure” him badly.

I think it was a solid match overall. Daniel Bryan was a true underdog throughout the match and he manages to pull of the win (as predicted). I didn’t like how Stephanie McMahon went slap happy on Bryan (looked really fake and stupid).

Grade: 7 out of 10 slaps to Bryan’s face

Or The New New Age Outlaws vs. The Old New Age Outlaws (and Kane)

Or The New New Age Outlaws vs. The Old New Age Outlaws (and Kane)

Match #2: The Shield vs. The Authority (Kane and The New Age Outlaws)

Honestly, I don’t see why this match had to be in Wrestlemania and I think the people that thought this match was a good idea stopped and realized too late that this was stupid. The Shield already took out Kane a couple of times before and, while I love the New Age Outlaws, there’s no way they would be a legitimate threat to Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns.

The double triple-powerbomb on the New Age Outlaws was great! Still, the entire match was too short (never got to see anyone really do any moves until the very end) and it looked rushed.

Grade: 3 out of 10 Roman Reigns’ Superman Punches

What? No shot at the title?

What? No shot at the title?

Match #3: The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale

Another mess of a match. With 30 wrestlers in the ring at one time, there was no way anyone would be able to see anything until you got rid of all the wimps. In the end, it was the Swiss Superman (or The King of Swing) Cesaro who won the trophy. Only the ending (Cesaro legitimately lifting and slamming The Big Show out of the ring) kept this from being a total waste of time.

Grade: 4 out of 10 bodyslammed Big Shows

I wish I could do what Bray's doing myself!

I wish I could do what Bray’s doing myself!

Match #4: John Cena vs Bray Wyatt

This match was supposed to be “for John Cena’s Legacy.” What “Legacy” are they talking about? Hustle, loyalty and respect? Who cares about that? This was a mishandled opportunity and they should’ve let Wyatt win the match. But no. They had to play it safe and let Cena win.

Sorry, Cena fans. When the most exciting part of the match was seeing Wyatt walking in that inverted spiderwalk, you know the match sucks.

Grade: 3 out of 10 spiderwalking Bray Wyatts

I came to see Lita.

I came to see Lita.

The Hall of Fame Class of 2014 appearance

To be honest, I only know Lita, Razor Ramon and Paul Bearer. I never really got to experience first hand the affect The Ultimate Warrior and Jake “The Snake” Roberts had on the WWE. I did try watching some of their old matches and I was… intrigued by Warrior’s style. Sorry to see him pass away after just getting to understand what he did.

Anyway, their introduction was pretty standard stuff. So I’m giving it a pretty standard grade.

Grade: 5 out of 10 Ultimate Warriors

This will be the permanent image burned into my memory about WM30.

This will be the permanent image burned into my memory about WM30.

Match #5: The Beast vs. The Streak (Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker)

This was the match of the night for me! Not because the wrestling was any good (it was pretty terrible all around). But I love it for the extreme shock value! No one expected Brock Lesnar to end The Undertaker’s Streak. I expected the Streak to go on until he retired. And to lose to Brock Lesnar, of all people? That took guts!

I do sort of understand why Taker lost. Realistically, The Undertaker is pretty old and he did have to bow down who’s a “real” fighter like Brock. Still, I didn’t think anyone saw this coming! Kudos, WWE! You just proved that anything can happen in the WWE!

Grade: 8 out of 10 broken Wrestlemania streaks

AJ Lee vs. the world

AJ Lee vs. the world

Match #6: The Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational

I love AJ Lee and I hate most of the Divas. AJ is a true wrestler and doing it because she loves “sports entertainment.” Not to diss all of the hard work the other Divas had to go through, AJ had it tougher, seeing as she’s incredibly tiny for a wrestler.

Anyway, there’s was just so much wrong with this match. The Total Divas were cleaning house for the most part (even Cameron… I hate Cameron!). So, I was really relieved when AJ Lee snapped the Black Widow submission on Naomi and got her to tap out! Besides the finish, there was nothing I like with the match.

Grade: 4 out of 10 skipping AJ Lees

To quote JR: They just broke him in half!

To quote JR: They just broke him in half!

Match #7: Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Heavyweight Championship

Although this match had a very predicable ending (of course Daniel Bryan would win, especially after The Undertaker losing the Streak), it did have one extremely great moment: the Powerbomb into RKO on Bryan on the Spanish Announcer’s Table! The thing that scared me wasn’t Bryan getting hit by the two moves. Rather, it was Orton landing on a television monitor! I’m an Orton fan so props to my guy for continuing on after a horrific landing like that!

I also loved the finish, with Bryan getting Batista to tap out from the Yes! Lock. Good match overall.

Grade: 7 out of 10 Yes! Yes! Yes! chants

It's not the Silverdome, Hogan! It's the Superdome!

It’s not the Silverdome, Hogan! It’s the Superdome!

Wrestlemania 30 as a whole

Whew! I think this year’s Wrestlemania was saved by only three things: seeing three legendary wrestlers at the start of the event, Brock Lesnar ending The Undertaker’s amazing streak and the final match. This was a Wrestlemania for the ages, not because of the title changing has, but because of the significance of the Streak ending.

I just wish it didn’t have so many filler matches like the Wyatt vs. Cena or the Sheild vs. Authority. Oh, and next year, can we have a Paige vs. AJ Lee match? You know, something like Lita vs. Trish Stratus? That would be great!

Grade: 7 out of 10 “It’s the Superdome” slips

Byee!

What did you think of Wrestlemania XXX? Was it worth watching? Or was it just a very special Monday Night Raw episode? Place your thoughts and comments in the section below!

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One thought on “I’ll Review Anything: Wrestlemania XXX

  1. Pingback: I’ll Review Anything: Total Divas | 3rd World Geeks

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