Five Incredibly Dumb Superpowers (that Appeared in Marvel and DC)

Whenever I would be asked what superpower I would want to have, I didn’t want super-strength, super-speed, invulnerability or anything like that. I would answer that I would want the power to manipulate gravitational fields. My thinking is that, if I had the complete control over gravity, I would essentially have practically every superpower. Super-strength? Just change the gravity around the object so I can lift it. Super-speed? Manipulate my specific gravity field to make myself go faster than normal. Invulnerability? Make the area of my body so dense nothing can pierce it.

Most people, whenever I do give that reply, say I can’t pick “mastery over gravity” because there aren’t any comic book characters that have this power. Of course, they’re wrong as there is the Marvel supervillian Graviton. But anyway, this does prove that there are a lot of lesser known and very cool superpowers out there in comics land. Sadly, this also means there are a ton more very lesser known and super lame superpowers as well. We’re here to look at just some of the latter ones from the annals of Marvel and DC Comics.

#1 Ability to not feel pain (Ajax from Deadpool)

Have you ever jammed your finger in a door or stepped on a LEGO with your bare feet? Sucks, doesn’t it? This is probably when you want to be like Ajax from the Deadpool film, who removes most of his nerve endings so he wouldn’t feel any pain.

On the surface, not feeling any pain may seem like a boon in life. It may even work really well for someone in Ajax’s line of work, who job is to get into fights. Getting his nose broken or getting his nuts crushed won’t make him wince as he won’t really notice how painful it is.

However, we feel pain and that’s a good thing. Pain prevents us from putting our hand on a lit stove and not realizing your searing your fingers off. In fact, there is an actual medical condition called CIPA (congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis) and it’s considered a disability because they won’t be able to feel the sensation of pain and they run the risk of accidental self-mutilation.

#2 Seeing through your fingers (Ten-Eyed Man from Batman)

I can’t really imagine how this would be a cool power but anyway…

Ten-Eyed Man’s origin is… interesting. He was a Vietnam veteran who, after becoming blind due to a bomb blast, had his optic nerves transferred to his fingertips. This enables the Ten-Eyed Man to do some remarkable feats, like seeing virtually all around him without having to turn his head. And that’s basically it.

While the power may seem like a fun parlor trick, normal life would be hell for Ten-Eyed Man. Imagine having to do simple tasks than involves your fingers such as typing on a keyboard. All you’ll be able to see is an extreme close-up of the letters! Also, putting your eyes on your fingers must make you look like a weirdo since you’ll need to be walking with at least one finger pointing towards the location you wanna go.

#3 Ripping your limbs off to use as blunt weapons (Arm Fall Off Boy from Legion of Super-Heroes)

Yeah. This guy exists.

Okay, Arm Fall Off Boy’s name is rather misleading because it’s not only his arms that fall off. He can also detach his legs as well. Honestly, when I learned about this character’s power, I thought it had potential. I mean, I thought he could remove his arms and legs and still have full control over them, kind of like his hand becoming Thing from The Addams Family. This would make him useful for covert operations like sneaking into a secure facility. He can use his hand to sneak into a ventilation shaft and unlock the door or something, at least.

Alas, this isn’t the case. Arm Fall Off Boy’s limbs only use is to become clubs for anyone to use. Best case scenario, he can give his limbs to four of his allies to help in the battle. Worst case, his foes rip off his limbs, basically giving his enemies extra weapons, and beat him to death with them.

#4 Ability to explode… and die (Bailey Hoskins from the X-Men)

When you’re the star of a series called “Worst X-Man Ever,” you know your power is going to suck.

I’m pretty sure this isn’t part of the Marvel-616 Universe. In fact, the miniseries is almost played for laughs. The series focuses on Bailey Hoskins, a boy who was excited to find out he’s a mutant. His excitement soon died down when he discovered that his power is causing his body to explode. Not cause an explosion. Actually causing his body to explode. This means he will also die when he uses his power.

Now, while I will admit that Bailey Hoskin’s power can be pretty cool under the right circumstances, like in how ended the series, you have to admit that it’s not the most enjoyable superpower to have. Heck, you don’t even really get to enjoy it because you explode.

#5 Energy Projection… but can’t hit your target (Friendly Fire from Section 8)

At least his name is accurate.

At least he didn’t hit his buddies.

To be fair, Section 8 is just a mishmash of really stupid superheroes like Dogwelder, who welds dead dogs to criminals to scare them straight, and Flemgem, who uses his rancid phlegm to blind, but mostly gross out, his foes. The most powerful team member is easily Friendly Fire, who has the power to shoot devastating energy blasts out of his hands. Unfortunately, he usually winds up never hitting the bad guys but his teammates!

The explanation as to why Friendly Fire can never hit his intended target is never really explained. It could be that his energy blasts are just too powerful for him to control or it might be tied to his defeatist attitude. Whatever the reason, having the power to fire off powerful blasts of energy is dumb if you can’t control it!

BONUS: “Super-sanity” (The Joker from Batman)

Not sure if this is a power… but I’m putting it here in the bonus section, just in case!

We all know who the Joker is. He’s Batman’s archenemy. He’s also supposed to be insane. But that may not be totally true. There is a theory that The Clown Prince of Crime isn’t insane in the classic sense. Rather, he’s something that cannot be classified. The general term that some fans have used to describe the Joker’s mental health is “super-sanity,” which is borrowed from one of the comic books.

However, this “power” is never really explained nor even how it works. Because of this, there are several explanations trying to explain this. Some say the Joker, thanks to his “super-sanity” knows he’s not in control of his actions because he’s a comic book character. Some say he lacks the ability to think rationally but still trying to find answers, which leads him to figure out the bigger picture.

Or, as in the Dark Knight, he’s just the next step of rational thought.

What other dumb superpowers have you seen from your Marvel and DC Comics library? Let me know what they are in the comments section below!


One thought on “Five Incredibly Dumb Superpowers (that Appeared in Marvel and DC)

  1. My favourites: Wraith (Hector Rendoza) can make his skin invisible. Not his bones, not his organs, not his muscles. Just this skin. Best mutant power ever.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s