Episode 346: A List of Five Awful Fictional Couples

Hiya!

When I was younger, I used to really like Valentine’s Day. It was a time for loving your significant other and all that. As I’ve gotten older, my love for the holiday has diminished somewhat. Oh, it’s not like I’m bitter because I’m single or anything like that. It’s just I’ve become a little more cynical and less naive as I’ve gotten older. I still like watching romantic moments on movies and TV but there’s now a dark side to me that kind of questions if what they’re showing is what a healthy relationship between a couple is supposed to be like.

So, as we get closer to the day cupid flings love arrows at people, let’s go look at some of the worst fictional couples out there, shall we?

Joker and Harley Quinn (From Batman)

Let’s get the most obvious one out of the way early.

It’s very easy to see what’s so wrong about this pair. Let’s ignore the fact that one is a homicidal maniac and the other is… a homicidal maniac. Okay, that’s already super wrong. What makes the relationship extra terrible is it’s an extremely manipulative and abusive relationship.

Harley Quinn is head over heels in love with her puddin’. The Joker knows this all too well and exploits it every chance he gets. While there may be moments when Mister J would actually show some affection towards Harley, you never really know if it’s genuine or if he’s just gaslighting her in a way. I do know the current comics have Harley breaking on her own and, as seen in her new animated series, pairing up with galpal (or is it more than that?) Poison Ivy. It speaks volumes that pairing a homicidal maniac with an eco-terrorist who can control plants is a much more healthy relationship that the one Harley Quinn had with The Joker!

Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (From the Twilight Saga)

You do know he’s super old, right, Bella?

This is another very disturbing relationship and I find it… fascinating that so many girls of my age group found it so romantic. Let’s ignore the fact that Bella Swan is a teenager and Edward Cullen, who may look like a teenager (supposedly), is actually around 80 years old. Let’s even forget the fact that Edward is a vampire and love to suck blood… because he’s a good vampire. Let’s all put that aside and you’ll still have a really unhealthy relationship.

I had to watch all of the Twilight films because my friends oh so loved the books. So I guess I was the only one who found it disturbing that, in New Moon, Bella kept on committing various dangerous acts, like jumping off a cliff and even trying to get raped by a bunch of bikers, just so she can “see” Edward again! My friends all swooned when this was happening because it was supposed to be true love or something like that crap. All I was thinking was how desperate can a girl get!

Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala From the Star Wars Prequels

Is Padme technically a cradle robber since Anakin was a child while she was in her early teens when the met?

When I was younger, I actually thought their relationship was quite nice. Then again, that was when I was a stupid kid who thought love was cheesy lines and professing how much you love the other person. I used to believe that’s what love was like. I guess that’s what George Lucas thought as well.

Now that I’m older, I can definitely see that, right from the start, Anakin and Padme’s relationship was doomed from the start. It’s a love that has no real basis and just comes off as two horny teenagers who have no ideas what love is really like. Oh, and Anakin actually tries to kill Padme by Revenge of the Sith because… he wanted to stop her from dying? I don’t know but that’s what I think happened.

Mario Mario and Princess Peach From the Mario games

It’sa me, blueballs!

On the surface, the relationship between Mario and Princess Peach may not seem like a bad thing. Well, besides the repetitive cycle where Princess Peach gets kidnapped by Bowser and then Mario chases after them. The real villain in the relationship isn’t Bowser. It’s really Princess Peach!

You gotta feel sorry for Mario that, despite risking his and his hapless brother’s lives in order to rescue her multiple times, you would think Mario would deserve a little more than a kiss from the damsel in distress. I guess she does let him live in the kingdom, probably rent free. Too bad that’s not what he wants! Our heroic portly plumber wants Princess Peach’s “peach,” if you get my meaning. So, basically, we have Princess Peach stringing our lovestruck hero for the ride just in case Bowser kidnaps her again. How devious!

Superman and Lois Lane From the Silver Age DC Comics

This is probably one that flew under everyone’s radar.

In order to put up this post, I did some rudimentary research on a lot of fictional lovebirds. I already had some in mind but I had to do some checking just to see how good or bad their relationships they had. I wasn’t actually looking at Superman and Lois Lane but I ran across a few comic book covers during the Silver Age period and I realized how dysfunctional they were simply because there is no trust between them.

I guess Lois Lane trusts Superman to rescue her when need be. However, Superman never trusted Lois Lane with his secret identity. A lot of of the stories had Lois Lane concocting devious schemes in order to prove Clark Kent is Superman! What’s doubly weird is that Superman was okay with this obsession! How can the two actually be together if they can’t trust one another?

BONUS: Goku and Chi Chi From Dragon Ball Z

How they managed to have two kids is beyond me.

Now, I’m much more familiar with Dragon Ball Z lore than any other series involving the Saiyans. From what I remember though, Chi Chi was more of a tomboy who was as interested in fighting and adventures as much as Goku when they were younger. That all changed when they got married and had Gohan.

When that happened, Chi Chi all of a sudden hated fighting while Goku still enjoyed training and getting stronger. This led to a one-sided clash of personalities as Chi Chi tried to keep Goku from saving the world and all that. Also, Chi Chi would endlessly yell at her husband for being the person she fell in love with all those years ago! That’s just weird!

Byee!

Can you think of other terrible fictional couples? Let me know in the comments section below!

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