I’ll Review Anything: WWE’s Summerslam (2015)

Hiya!

The WWE is trying their darndest to make Summerslam its 2nd biggest pay-per-view next to Wrestlemania. I mean, they booked two incredible matches, John Cena vs. Seth Rollins and The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar, in the same event! So it looks like they’re really going all out this year! But even so, can these matches live up to the hype?

Actually, a better question would be if the rest of the matches are going to be any good? Well, let’s go find out!


Match #1: Randy Orton vs Sheamus

Didn’t we already get this match last month in Battleground? I guess they’re just stretching this rivalry out because they need Sheamus, the current Money in the Bank contract holder, to feud with a big name wrestler. And it seems that Randy Orton is that “fella” this time around.This is probably why we’re seeing them fight again in another pay-per-view.

The first half of the match was pretty slow but did become much better. The two veterans can work together pretty well and both of them has some impressive moments, such as Orton countering Sheamus’ flying shoulder ram with his patented RKO finisher. The finish was actually pretty cool with Sheamus having to deliver two Brogue Kicks in quick succession. I do wish both of them started getting to the good parts a little early on but, otherwise, it was an okay match.

Rating: 7 of 10 “You look stupid” chants


Match #2: Fatal Four-Way: The Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores vs. The New Day vs. The Prime Time Players for the WWE Tag Team Titles

Is it just me or did the WWE just dump all of their male wrestlers of color into this one match?

No, really. Take a look!

No, really. Take a look!

Okay, racial profiling aside, I was really looking forward to this match because I really love 3 of the 4 teams here. Hint: the team I don’t care for rhymes with “Mos Latadores.” Anyway, The New Day dominated the match for the most part with Lucha Dragons member Kalisto doing some really impressive stuff. Things got really hectic when Titus O’Neil of the Prime Time Players got the hot tag and practically cleared out the entire ring.

There were a few sloppy moment. The one that stuck out for me was one of the members of Los Matadores slipping off the top turnbuckle and almost ruining the finish of the match! Kudos to the other Los Matadores member swapping in at the last second so that the Lucha Dragons and Titus O’Neil could execute that weird powerbomb-suplex thing. Ultimately, Kofi Kingston snuck in a tag and pinned Titus to regain the Tag Team Titles!

But you know what made this win extra special? The victory dance!

Strangely hypnotic...

Strangely hypnotic…

Really exciting and, yes, New… Day Rocks! New… Day Rocks!

Rating: 8 of 10 gyrating Big Es


Match #3: Dolf Ziggler (with Lana) vs Rusev (with Summer Rae)

I liked the old “business suit” Lana better than the “80’s rocker” Lana. But that’s just me.

Anyway, the match was mostly so-so. Besides Rusev executing a weird senton splash, nothing really unexpected or out of the ordinary happened until the very end. I was a little disappointed that, even with Lana providing a distraction by slapping Summer, Ziggler didn’t win. Well, Summer did try to hit Lana first so she was technically defending herself.

The finish was, at least, interesting, with both Ziggler and Rusev getting counted out. Sure, Ziggler and Lana managed to run Rusev and Summer out of the ring but it’s a hollow victory… much like this match.

Rating: 5 of 10 denim wearing Lanas


Match #4: Stephen Amell and Neville vs Stardust and King Barrett

I love Arrow… but I’m not necessarily sure I want to see him wrestling.

Thankfully, Stephen Amell is more than a pretty boy and decent actor. He’s actually a really agile and fit guy! If you watch the show, you probably have seen him doing a lot of crazy scenes without a stunt double! Despite all of this, Amell isn’t a wrestler and it showed.

For all of the pomp and circumstance he showed in Raw and wanting a match with Stardust, when it came to the actual match, he was basically the punching bag. He was just beat down for the majority of the match, which was fine. He did manage to get to impress the WWE Universe with a few moves, such as this acceptable cross body off the top rope. It looked awkward but it was pretty good for someone who probably never did it before in his life!

The finish came after that, with Amell rolling Barrett into the ring so Neville can hit the Red Arrow (Get it? Red Arrow? And his partner is TV’s Green Arrow?) and getting the pinfall victory. Overall, it was a decent match and I do have to give props to Amell for an admirable showing.

Rating: 7 of 10 flying Amells (into my heart)


Match #5: Triple Threat Match: Ryback vs. The Miz vs The Big Show for the Intercontinental Title

You may like The Miz or you may hate him (I personally like him more than I hate him), you gotta give him props for willing to make a fool of himself and be entertaining at the same time.

Sorry, but Ryback's smile is off-putting, in my opinion.

Sorry, but Ryback’s smile is off-putting, in my opinion.

The entire match was essentially a Ryback vs. Big Show match as The Miz stayed outside the ring, waiting for an opportunity to steal the win. When The Miz did enter the ring, he just got the snot beat out of him! There was a funny moment where Miz just kept on trying to pin Ryback and Big Show. I liked that and I actually laughed out loud.

But that was probably the only moment in the match I enjoyed. It was pretty much a snoozefest and I was glad when Ryback took advantage of Big Show nailing the knockout punch on Miz. At least it was short.

Rating: 4 out of 10 failed Miz pinfall attempts


Match #6: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper

Or, The Shield minus one versus The Wyatt Family minus one!

Right out of the gate, all four participants were firing on all cylinders, with Ambrose and Reigns getting the upper-hand early. This was probably the best part of the match as everything was really crazy and just plain fun to watch!

The heels soon took control after taking out Reigns temporarily. Wyatt and Harper took turns brutalizing Ambrose. However, Ambrose managed to get the hot tag to Reigns (who was sleeping throughout the entire Ambrose beatdown according to the live audience) and the good guys eventually got the win after both Ambrose and Reigns hit their finishers on Wyatt. After this match, I wouldn’t mind seeing the former Shield member go after the tag titles in the future!

The match was actually pretty good for the most part and left an impression on me. But the middle part was just okay and would’ve been much better if Reigns was, at the least, on the apron begging for a tag.

Rating: 7.5 of 10 Doomsday Devices on Wyatt


Match #7: Title vs. Title: United States Champion John Cena vs. WWE Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins

Seth Rollins asked to get a statue built in his image if he won. You know what? Seth Rollins does deserve his own statue after this match!

This was a brilliant match! The action was really great with both Seth Rolling and John Cena bringing their A-game. The great thing about this match is, even though he’s supposed to be a “coward” champion, Seth Rollins held his own against John Cena without any outside interference for the most part! Well, except for the ending, that is.

What a shocking finish! John Stewart hitting Cena with a chair! I don’t think anyone saw that coming! It was a swerve that I actually liked. Sure it didn’t make a lick of sense (and John Stewart will have to explain his actions on Raw) but, hey, there was really no way Rollins could beat John Cena in a fair fight. Really phenomenal match through and through.

Rating: 9 of 10 John Stewart chair shots


Match #8: Divas Elimination Triple-Threat Tag Match: Team PCB vs. Team BAD vs. Team Bella

Sorry to say but, as much as I love the Divas Revolution, this match was just… okay.

What? No Cameron? Thank God!

What? No Cameron in this match? Thank heavens!

There’s no denying that the Divas wrestled their hearts out in this match with some of them performing some incredible stuff, such as an assortment of suicide dives to opponents outside the ring. Some of them took some really nasty bumps and I have to commend them for it. But something was missing. I felt the match had no direction and there was no build up to anything.

To kind of prove my point, Team BAD’s elimination at the hands of Brie Bella’s facebuster to Tamina just kind of happened. So was Becky Lynch’s pin on Brie Bella after a weird suplex/slam just came out of nowhere. The match and the ending just left me feeling kind of empty. Better luck next time, ladies!

Rating: 5 of 10 Diva suicide dives


Match #9: Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Wow! This feud just came out of nowhere, didn’t it? But I’m glad that these two had a match against each other after that disappointing Divas match as it washed away the boredom right off!

Both Cesaro and Owens are known to be wrestlers of brute strength but they’re both surprisingly lithe on their feet! So, both of them are strong yet agile? Yes, and that led to a very exciting match! These guys were doing jaw-dropping moves all the time. I really wanted to pee throughout the entire bout but I couldn’t tear myself away from the TV in fear I would miss something fantastic!

The finish came when Kevin Owen blocked a top rope suplex by Cesaro, which gave the former NXT Champion to nail the Swiss Superman with a spinning fisherman suplex (?) off the turnbuckles. Owens then immediately followed up with his finisher, the pop-up powerbomb for the win.

Fantastic match from start to finish. Can’t we give Cesaro a WWE Heavyweight title reign now, WWE? I, and the entire Cesaro Section, think he deserves it.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10 giant swings


Match #10: The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Will the Undertaker get his revenge against the man that broke The Streak?

Okay, right now, I’m going to say this should’ve been a classic match. I know the Undertaker is really, really old and shouldn’t be wrestling anymore but, man, can the Deadman still put on a show! Both Lesnar and Undertaker really brutalized each other throughout the entire match and it seemed like none of them could finish off the other, even after hitting their finishers multiple times! It was so frustrating Lesnar just had to laugh… and The Undertaker laughed back!

This would’ve been a classic match but they just had to mire it with an absolutely crappy ending! The Undertaker taps out to Lesnar’s Kimura Lock but the referee doesn’t see it… but the timekeeper does! The timekeeper rings the bell but the ref berates the timekeeper since he didn’t call for the bell. The Undertaker uses the confusion to hit a low blow on Lesnar, applies Hell’s Gate to The Beast Incarnate. Lesnar passes out but not before giving Undertaker a well deserved middle finger.

What a sloppy finish to an otherwise great match. It made The Undertaker look weak (since he had to win by cheating) and it was just hella confusing for the viewers. BOO!

Rating: 6 of 10 middle fingers


Overall Rating for WWE’s 2015 Summerslam:

Taken as a whole, this year’s Summerslam was a pretty solid pay-per-view. The actual wrestling was solid for the most part. Even the snoozefest that was the Intercontinental match had at least one entertaining moment. However, there were some really big disappointing things that happened as well, such as the lame Divas match and the atrocious ending to the Undertaker-Lesnar bout. It’s still a fun watch but I don’t think the WWE should try to plug it as the next Wrestlemania.

Rating: 7.5 God-awful finishes

Byee!

What did you think of this year’s Summerslam? Let me know in the comments section below!

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