I’ll Review Anything: Hello Kitty (Song By Avril Lavigne)

Hiya!

I love Avril Lavigne. I love her songs. I loved that they’re a mashup of punk and pop music. In fact, I’m listening to one of my fave songs, Avil’s The Best Damn Thing, as I’m writing this… for reasons I’ll explain later. Each time she’s come to the Philippines, I’ve been one of the first people in line to reserve a front row seat (okay, not exactly the front row; the more expensive seats) just so I can watch my idol up close and personal. I love her style and I’m not ashamed to say that I find her extremely pretty and beautiful.

I wish I could pull off the pop-punk-goth look :(

I wish I could pull off the pop-punk-goth look 😦

I also love Hello Kitty. Yes, even an 18-year old girl like me can love something that targets little girls. The character is a huge piece of my childhood. When I was in kindergarten, most, if not all, of my school stuff was pink and had Hello Kitty’s face embossed on it. I guess Sanrio (and the local distributor, Gift Gate) owe me and my family a huge debt of gratitude for making them financially successful throughout the mid-90’s.

My younger self would've lost her mind if she saw this!

My younger self would’ve lost her mind if she saw this!

The merging of these two things I love should be filling me with extreme happiness and joy right now. I should super giddy and playing this song in a loop, listening to Avril express her love for the Japanese mascot! So, what happened? Why am I futilely trying to erase Hello Kitty from my brain by playing another one of her songs? Why am I trying my darndest to delete the tune from my head?

Here, let me make you listen to the song so you can feel my pain.

For one thing, it just isn’t any good! Being a huge Avril’s music style, it just doesn’t sound anything like her previous song. Well, any of the songs that made me a fan of hers, anyway! There is no hint of the upbeat tempo and beautiful punk-pop style from her older songs. Instead, we get this weird… electronica… thing totally devoid of Avril’s signature sound. It would’ve been okay if she tried to make it sound like J-Pop (it is about Hello Kitty and Japan) but it doesn’t! It’s just a droning bunch of notes played together using some weird awkward rhythm! The song is just not perky at all and missing Avril’s signature attitude!

Also, I think Avril said that Hello Kitty was a tribute to the cat of the same name. So, why isn’t she mentioning anything about the white kitty with a bow on her head? At least describe the kitty! Saying that the “kitty is so silly, silly” just doesn’t cut it! Mention that she loves the color pink! Or that she loves to bake! Don’t sing about having “a pillow fight like a major rager.” Because that would be so un-Hello Kitty-like!

How dare you suggest a violent pillow fight with things like these?

How dare you suggest a violent pillow fight with things like these?

Also, the video. Despite the song being a tribute to her (alleged) passion for everything Hello Kitty, she’s not even in there! Oh, there’s Avril in a cupcake skirt (That outfit is totally not kawaii! Not at the least!), her walking around the streets of Japan (I guess) with four emotionless dancers, a sped up sequence of her waiting for sushi… what the heck am I even watching! It’s just a mess and a weird, incomprehensible mess at that!

Right now, there is a weird discussion between a lot of people asking if the video is racist or not. I don’t think it’s racist at all. I didn’t see anything in the video that portrayed Japan in a bad light. Okay, maybe the emotionless dancers were a little bit strange, but it wasn’t racist. No, Hello Kitty may not be racist… but it is offensive. Not because it knocks on Japan but because it’s a terrible song!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, let me try to wash away the bad after taste of Hello Kitty and get back to listening to The Best Damn Thing.

Byee!

Have you seen Avril Lavigne’s Hello Kitty? What did you think of it? Whatever it may be, leave your thoughts in the comments section below!

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