Way back when, I took a trip down memory lane and wrote about Macross: Do You Remember Love? This is a movie that holds a special place in my youth as I was a huge Robotech fan. This was a movie that essentially condensed the events of the first Robotech chapter, the Macross saga, into a nice healthy 115-minute movie. I honestly would love to get a remastered version of the movie on Blu-Ray despite physical media dying out. That’s how much I love Do You Remember Love?.

However, I also mentioned in that post that the first time I technically saw Do You Remember Love? wasn’t the original version of the film. No, my first experience seeing it was on local TV which I just so happened to stumble upon. What I saw wasn’t even named Do You Remember Love? It was called Clash of the Bionoids, an essentially hacked up version that incised 30 whole minutes and had a whacked out dub. And I loved it!

Well, while browsing YouTube, I just so happened to stumble upon it again! Someone uploaded Clash of the Bionoids for everyone to see in all its VHS glory. So, I thought, “Why not? It’s almost exactly how I saw it way back when.” I watched through it and, well, I decided to make a full fledged SPOILER FILLED review of this version of one of anime’s most beloved films.

Now, before I get into the review proper, I do have to mention that I won’t be dinging the film on the poor quality of the copy I saw. It would be unfair to do so because, as far as I know, Clash of the Bionoids was only released on VHS. So, saying the picture is bad isn’t the fault of the movie. What I will be doing instead is trying to review the film as it was when it was released back in 1984 with modern eyes and ideas.

Clash of the Bionoids mostly focuses on a trio of characters onboard the Macross, namely, ace pilot Hikaru Ichijyo, idol singer Lynn Minmey and bridge commander Misa Hayase. It chronicles their ever-changing relationship with each other while the human’s war with the alien Zentradi forces erupts around them.

Now, if it sounds like I’m being incredibly coy regarding the plot of the film as I’m not going into much detail, well, that’s because Clash of the Bionoids doesn’t really do a good job in relaying what the story is all about. In retrospect, the same thing could be said for Do You Remember Love? as, like with Clash of the Bionoids, it drops you right in the middle of things. You can get caught up with what’s happening but most of the meaty details, such as why the Zentradi are at war with the humans and the Meltradi (haven’t mentioned them yet because that comes later in the middle of the movie), what’s the deal with Protoculture, why the Zentradi are so disturbed by men and women being together and the like, is explained in detail in the series. In both Do You Remember Love? and Clash of the Bionoids, these things do get some explanations but it’s never really as clear as you want it to be.

Then again, it takes quite a bit more effort to understanding what’s happening in Clash of the Bionoids because the script and dialogue are barely serviceable in order to make it “kid friendly.” And when I say “kid friendly”, what I mean is that the editors cut out a lot of the more violent and gruesome parts, some of Lynn Minmey’s songs were shortened as well as edit out some of the more dialogue heavy scenes to keep the pace moving faster. No need to have those pesky parts where characters are talking about their motivations and the like! We need to show more action to keep the kiddies entertained! The weird thing is they still kept the implied sexy scenes like Hikaru Ichijyo wanting to go to a motel with Lynn Minmey and Misa Hayase zipping up her flight suit after having a tender moment with Hikaru. I guess the editors didn’t think kids would understand what’s happening.

That’s not to say Clash of the Bionoids cut all of the blood. This “kid friendly” cartoon can get pretty gory at times, like how Max Jenius executes that one Zentradi with a point blank rifle shot to the head during the opening action scene. However, some of the more impactful scenes, like the myriad of civilian deaths peppered throughout the film, Hikaru blasting away at Boddole Zer’s giant head and Roy Fokker sacrificing himself so Hikaru and Misa can escape. The death of Roy Fokker is pretty jarring as it just seems like the Zentradi he was fighting accidentally crushes him while he dies! It’s so anticlimactic, especially when you realize that, in Do You Remember Love?, he shoots himself while the Zentradi is ripping open the cockpit of his Valkyrie fighter! In Clash of the Bionoids, it just looks like he died because a giant plopped on top of him. Roy Fokker deserved better!

So, the script and the editing is bad. But what about the voice acting? Well, I have to say I love the dub of Clash of the Bionoids but not for the right reasons! You have to remember that this movie was dubbed way back in 1984 and, even then, most of the companies importing “Japanese cartoons” didn’t put a whole lot of effort into their production. They saw it as a cheap way to sell something to kids as cartoons, even something as mature as the Macross story, was just mindless kiddie entertainment. It was so bad that the company that did the dubbing wasn’t even done by native English speakers. As far as I know, the people who did the voices for, well, everyone were local Hong Kong actors and actresses! You might think they’re British because of the accent but that’s only because that’s how Hong Kong locals were taught that’s the proper way to speak English!

Despite the dubbing being so obviously bad, I can’t help but love it! You can tell the people behind Hikaru, Lynn Minmey, Misa and, well, the rest of this unnamed voice cast, giving their all in their performances despite not having English as their first language. And, honestly, I can hear how earnest they are here. They are trying to convey whatever emotion the characters are trying to express but it just comes out as incredibly awkward and stilted. But it’s a “so-bad-it’s good” kind of situation so it’s a very enjoyable experience.

However, the highlight of Clash of the Bionoids is still going to be the high quality of the animation. Sure, it can be hard to see because of how blurry the available video is. But you can tell a lot of effort was put into making things look super detailed and smooth. They even put a ton of effort in making everyone give subtle changes in their facial expressions. This is especially true way back when it was released way back in the ’80s. If you think the film looks stunning now, back then, this was just gorgeous! Honestly, the animation holds up even up to today’s standards and even more!

Now, do I recommend watching Clash of the Bionoids? If you have no affinity for Robotech or Macross, that’s a hard no. I may love the dubbing because it’s a hot mess but that’s partially because I know what’s going on and I know the overarching story since I am a fan of Robotech and Macross. Newcomers may get lost trying to decipher what’s going on with the bad dialogue and sloppy editing. Instead, try tracking down an HD version of Do You Remember Love? with subtitles as that would be a much more accurate interpretation of the original story.

Also, while I did avoid trashing the quality of this version of Clash of the Bionoids throughout the review, I cannot even recommend true-blue fans seeing this version. Luckily, I have good news as Internet Archive does have a super clear version of the film and it also happens to also reinsert all of the gore and violence from Do You Remember Love? I actually think this is just the HD version of Do You Remember Love? but they added the Clash of the Bionoids dub in. That version I do recommend seeing, especially if you already watched the original Do You Remember Love? as it can be a hoot to hear this mangled script with actors trying to make it all work.

Have you seen Clash of the Bionoids? What about Do You Remember Love? How do the two movies compare with each other? Let me know in the comments section below!